She was 10 when her dad killed her stepmom then himself. How she’s healed and thrived

Prea Owens Epps said she sees herself in the children of Dr. Cerina Fairfax and Justin Fairfax after the former Virginia lieutenant governor killed his wife then himself as she tried to divorce him.

Epps was 10 years old when her father killed her stepmother and then himself. She was down the street at a sleepover in Philadelphia at the time of the 1993 shootings. Her brother was home at the time and called 911 for help.

Epps has worked to heal for decades and hopes to help others.

“It’s really hard for children to process these type of events, right? Our brains are still developing. And for me, I internalized a lot of it,” she said.

As far as she knew, there had been no warning signs. Her father had never shown violence in front of her, and she wasn’t aware of any fighting or tension between him and her stepmom.

In the years after the murder-suicide, she said she struggled with feelings of rejection related to knowing her father died by suicide.

“I did blame myself. Was it too much of a burden for him? But now I realize that it was his personal choice. He made the decision and it had absolutely nothing to do with me,” she said.

Decades later, Epps said she’s doing much better and has managed to build a beautiful life for herself as a financial coach. She credits the relatives who stepped in to raise her and her brother, along with years of therapy. She said she hopes her story can serve as encouragement for the Fairfax children or anyone grappling with a similar loss.

“I want them to think of themselves as survivors. And once you put that label on yourself that ‘I am a survivor,’ then that means that you are actively making a choice to move forward and just own that power,” she said.

‘You can absolutely thrive despite your circumstances’

For anyone dealing with a loss, especially in circumstances that are not common, a local psychiatrist said it can be good to talk with people who have gone through the same thing.

“The goal in grief is not that you want to stop grieving. That’s not a goal. The goal is to be able to carry a loss without being consumed by the loss,” psychiatrist Dr. Aeva Gaymon-Doomes said.

It’s important to name your emotions and not be afraid of sharing them with others, she said.

“You can begin to learn how to let go of any feeling or emotion, whether it’s anger, shame, guilt, confusion,” she said.

Epps shared a message that has helped her.

“Know that you can absolutely thrive despite your circumstances. Do not let your past, do not let someone else define you,” she said.

Murder-suicides occur more than once a day somewhere in the U.S., mostly committed by white men armed with guns, against their romantic partners. News4’s Ted Oberg spoke with a family violence law professional about warning signs and why divorce can be a high-risk time.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), visiting www.thehotline.org or texting LOVEIS to 22522.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or chat live at 988lifeline.org. You can also visit SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for additional support.