Scientists reveal the secrets behind a good kiss

What makes a good kiss has less to do with technique and far more to do with what is happening in the mind, according to new research from Scotland’s Abertay University published, appropriately enough, on Valentine’s Day.

The study reports that imagination, emotional states and internal fantasies play a central role in how people judge kissing, challenging the idea that physical contact alone drives chemistry and how people define it.

The findings shift scientific attention away from the physical act of kissing and toward the thoughts and feelings that shape how it is experienced. While kissing is widely believed to spark sexual attraction and intimacy, the researchers note that these assumptions have rarely been tested in a systematic way.

To explore the question, the research team examined whether imagination influences how people define the qualities of a “good kiss.” The project was based on an online survey completed by participants in both the U.K. and Italy, who were asked detailed questions about their attitudes, experiences and fantasies related to intimacy and kissing.

Participants rated the qualities they associate with good kissing, reflected on their own perceived kissing ability, reported how often they experience intimate or romantic daydreams and fantasies, and provided information about their level of sexual desire. Taken together, these responses allowed the researchers to assess how cognitive and emotional factors influence how kissing is evaluated and understood.

The results showed a clear pattern. People who frequently daydream about intimacy tended to place greater importance on contact and arousal when deciding what makes someone a good kisser. In other words, those with a more active imaginative life were more likely to judge kissing through the lens of emotional and psychological engagement rather than physical sensation alone.

Crucially, this relationship remained even after the researchers accounted for other factors such as general creative thinking and sexual desire. This suggests that imagination itself plays a distinct role in shaping how affectionate behaviors are experienced.

“Our findings show that kissing is far more than a sensory experience. It’s shaped by the thoughts, fantasies, and emotional context we bring to it,” paper author and psychologist Christopher Watkins said in a statement.

“Historically, certain strands of research on human sexuality have focused on sensory experiences and how we respond to physical stimulation, but our study highlights how imagination and internal states play an important role in how we interact with a partner when kissing them.

“By examining both the psychological and physical elements, we can better understand why people differ in how they use and appreciate kissing in their relationships, and why a single kiss can feel so meaningful.”

The findings challenge long-standing assumptions about romantic kissing. Kissing is often theorized to promote positive psychological outcomes in close relationships and is sometimes described as a tool for assessing a potential partner or maintaining emotional bonds.

However, the researchers point out that there is still no empirical evidence showing that romantic kissing directly acts as a catalyst for sexual intercourse.

Past tests of this hypothesis, the study argues, have underplayed the role of mental states that are a prerequisite for sexual arousal. By focusing mainly on behavior and physical responses, earlier research may have missed the importance of imagination and internal emotional processes.

Addressing this gap, the Abertay University study specifically investigated whether intimate fantasies predict how much importance people place on arousal when defining a good kiss. As predicted, daytime fantasy proneness was correlated with valuing arousal during kissing, independent of both sexual desire and general creative ability.

The research suggests that a good kiss is not simply something that happens between two people, but something shaped by what each person brings with them mentally and emotionally.

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Reference

Rota, M. V., & Watkins, C. D. (2025). Proclivity for sexual fantasy accounts for differences in the perceived components of a ‘good kiss.’ Sexual and Relationship Therapy. https://doi.org/10.1080/14681994.2025.2608188