Transgender woman alleges discrimination at Ferndale gay bar – Detroit Metro Times

A Black transgender woman accused a popular, long-standing LGBTQ+ bar in Ferndale of discrimination after a bartender at Soho refused to serve her.

In a video clip posted to TikTok last week, the Detroit woman said an alleged dispute over her ID quickly escalated, with the bartender shouting at her and kicking her out of the bar. Soho later apologized for what it claimed was a misunderstanding over different forms of ID and the bartender’s lack of “professionalism, respect, and care that every person deserves in our space.” (Soho’s full response can be found at the bottom of this article.)

In the video, the woman said she visited Soho “numerous times” before without issues, but a different bartender was working that day, and she described the employee as a “butch cis white lesbian.”

“I walked in, and I noticed that the bartender seemed pretty cold and unwelcoming,” the woman said. “But I didn’t assume much from that other than maybe she was having a bad day.”

The woman said she wanted to order a mimosa and handed her state ID to the bartender, who inspected it with a blacklight and told her she could not accept it because it did not appear to be valid. Michigan’s latest REAL ID-compliant state IDs and driver’s license cards both have design details that are visible under UV light to deter forgeries.

The woman said she knew her ID was valid and asked if she could get a second opinion from a manager, which appeared to rankle the bartender. “By this point she had [an] attitude,” the woman recalls in her video. “I could hear it in her voice and also the way she was talking to me and her body language.” 

While waiting for the manager to arrive, the woman said the bartender began pacing around the bar, making her feel “extremely anxious” and “literally shaking.”

“Her eyes were literally — I could see the top of the whites of her eyes,” she said.

That’s when the woman decided to call it like she saw it.

“I asked her very directly, ‘Are you being discriminatory? Because this feels like discrimination,’” she recalled.

The woman said the bartender then became defensive and started to yell at her, saying it was impossible for her to be discriminatory because she is a lesbian and Soho is a gay bar.

“I explained to her, ‘You think that white people can’t be racist? You think that gay people can’t be transphobic?’” the woman recalls. “Then she replied back and accused me of being ‘cisphobic’ — unironically using that word. By that point, I was laughing.” 

The woman said the bartender asked her to leave and threatened to call the police. To make matters worse, the bartender then loudly started complaining about her other patrons, who the woman described as older white gay men. When the woman tried to defend herself to them, she said the patrons started “dogpiling” on her and telling her to get out.

The woman said she eventually returned with a friend, who is a transgender Black man who was friendly with the manager, to talk about what happened. According to the woman, the manager said it was a misunderstanding over state IDs and apologized, offering them free drinks, but the bartender never apologized or acknowledged what happened.

However, the woman said the experience left her shaken, which is why she decided to tell her story on social media.

Reached by phone, the woman tells Metro Times that the incident occurred around 6 p.m. on Tuesday, April 14. She said that she received her REAL ID-compliant state ID last year, and while it includes her birth name, her gender is marked as female. She says she plans to eventually get a new card with her new name.

However, she doesn’t believe that any possible confusion over the information on her ID was a factor because of the claim that it was an issue with the UV light security features.

She says her social media posts have generated thousands of comments, with others recounting similar issues with their IDs and feelings of discrimination.

“This situation leads me to believe that there’s some truth in what I’m being told by other people of this being possibly discriminatory, specifically because they have reviews on their page — Black people, queer people — having issues with IDs,” she says.

The woman says she is considering filing a complaint with the Michigan Department of Civil Rights.

“I had no intent of, like, causing a ruckus,” the woman says. “Mostly it was primarily to express awareness. I liked going to Soho before this experience. I liked going to Ferndale. … It wasn’t necessarily something that I wanted to do, but I felt called to do it.”

Metro Times could not reach the bartender for comment, and Soho did not respond when asked if the bartender is still employed by the bar.

The full response from Soho is below:

Recently, an interaction between one of our staff members and a patron escalated in a way that should not have happened.

The situation began with a request for age identification, which is something we are legally required to do and take seriously. However, the way the interaction was handled did not meet our standards. Comments were made that were inappropriate, and the patron was not treated with the professionalism, respect, and care that every person deserves in our space.

We have apologized directly to the patron. We also addressed the matter immediately with our team and are reinforcing expectations around respectful communication, de-escalation, ID verification, and the responsibility every staff member has to help maintain a safe and welcoming environment.

For more than 20 years, as a small neighborhood bar, we have been part of the LGBTQ+ community. That history matters to us. So does the trust of the people who have made this place what it is. We do not tolerate discrimination, harassment, or disrespect toward any patron, including trans patrons, patrons of color, or anyone else who comes through our doors.

We also understand that stories can move quickly online, and that not every version of events will reflect the full context. Our focus now is on accountability, clarity, and making sure our actions match the values this community has long expected from us.

We are grateful to the patrons, staff, and community members who continue to care about this space. We will keep working to make sure it remains a respectful, inclusive, and welcoming place for everyone.

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