Wedding Guest Shocked by ‘Little Note’ on Invitation: ‘Atrocious Behavior’

A wedding invitation that asked guests to cover their own meal costs has struck a nerve online, with many calling the move “tacky” and “tone-deaf.”

On Reddit, user MichaelWForbes posted about an invite from a close friend’s wedding that included a note: “To help offset costs, guests are kindly asked to pay $75 per person for their meal at the reception.”

The original poster (OP) admitted being “flabbergasted,” writing, “feels like weddings these days are less about love and more like narcissistic flex contests with a price tag that keeps climbing.”

While he said he wasn’t offended—”just broke”—he asked if it would be unreasonable to decline the event on financial grounds.

Reddit users weighed in via the comments, with one writing, “If I even attended this fundraiser, which I wouldn’t, but if I did, I wouldn’t bring any form of gift at all.

“Even if I would normally have given them $200, I wouldn’t gift them the difference now. That $75 entry fee would be ALL they get from me. They’ve forfeited the rest of my gift by being so rude.”

Another remarked, “I think that is atrocious behavior. The best way to offset costs is not spend so much. My guess is that if someone doesn’t make her see sense before the wedding, most of their wedding gifts will be the dinner their guests paid for.”

Is This Normal?

Among the reactions, a recurring question stood out: has it really become normal for guests to pay for their own meal?

In an interview with Brides, wedding planner Alicia Fritz said it’s increasingly common for couples to finance their own weddings, especially as more people get married later in life with careers already established.

“For our clients, I am not seeing [this as] based on control of the day, but rather it’s the choice to invest more in areas or aspects of their day that mean more to them versus their parents,” she explained.

Still, asking guests to pay directly for a reception meal remains highly unconventional.

‘Much different’

Traditionally, according to the same article, the bride’s family covers the bulk of expenses, including the reception, venue and food.

Fritz acknowledged, however, that “hosting weddings in the current times are much different than they were when traditions like payments were established.”

Several users in the Reddit thread debated whether the couple might be trying to keep costs low in a challenging economy, but that did little to soften the criticism.

Etiquette expert Myka Meier, quoted in Brides, said it’s perfectly acceptable to RSVP “no” to a wedding for any reason, including financial stress.

“If you just do not want to go, that’s totally up to you,” Meier said, adding that how one declines matters more than the reason itself.

The Rising Cost of Weddings

Wedding costs in the United States averaged $29,000 in 2023, according to industry data.

The rising prices have pushed some couples toward cost-sharing approaches or creative alternatives, but charging guests directly for the meal remains outside traditional expectations, which explains the heated reaction.

The OP didn’t clarify whether he had decided whether to attend or not, but the thread captured a moment of financial tension that felt increasingly familiar for many readers.

As one user put it bluntly, “If you can’t afford the wedding, don’t have a wedding. Or at least don’t send out invoices.”

Newsweek has reached out to MichaelWForbes for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.

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